I made a video yesterday for our service @ Fellowship.  It wasn’t a bad video and it illustrated the point I was trying to make very clearly.  I attempted to demonstrate James 1: 23,24 which says:

Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.

So I had this idea.  I have a mirror in my office, and each Sunday morning before I go to preach I check myself for inconsistencies in my dress code like a zipper not reaching new heights or toilet paper on my person or a collar going rogue.  So I thought, “what about illustrating these verses by showing me checking myself in the mirror in my office and then ignoring some obvious problems, complete with a Star Wars musical score in the background?

I thought the video was quite good for the time I had to make it, but in it I missed a huge detail!  My mirror was filthy.  And the camera was clear enough to see this detailed faux pas.  I’m sure it didn’t get unnoticed, and I felt really stupid.  But then I thought, “This is probably what happens when I look at ‘the Bible’ to justify my own stance on what’s right and allow it to fit into my system of thinking, rather than allowing it to be alive as it claims to be and , so it can ‘judge the thoughts and attitudes of my heart’ and then ‘teach, rebuke, correct, and train me in righteousness’.”  My thoughts begin to skew what the Word of God through the Spirit of God (because that’s how this is powerful, not because of a piece of paper) wants to reveal to me, and probably I walk away distorting what God really wants for my life.

Literally I look into a mirror that’s dirty (my perspective outside of the Spirit of God) and walk away without a good understanding of how I can best “abide in Christ”.

In the church world, we are constantly pushing people to become better God followers.  From sermons to bible studies to discipleship programs, we make a habit of motivating, pushing, and for some houses of faith, manipulating people into a “better relationship with Christ.” I absolutely see nothing wrong with a better relationship with Christ, but there are some other things I want to work on too.  Like becoming a better friend to people.

We use these verses about sacrificing yourself for God as a means to motivate, and then ignore a lot of relational practices in Scripture because they interfere somehow with our path towards “building the kingdom of God,” as if our being a real friend to someone is ever going to stop us from doing that.

In a few of the gospel accounts, some people come to Jesus, evidently trying to trick him into saying something wrong, and ask him what is the most important or greatest commandment in the law?  Without the benefit of Jesus’ words in front of us, I fear that most of our answers, should we be asked this same question today, would be very focused on what we want our church to become.  “Know your Bible” or “Pray a lot” or “Get out there and serve” are three answers that aren’t wrong to do, they’re just not the greatest thing God wants us to do.

Jesus answers them by quoting Deuteronomy:  ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

But Jesus didn’t get asked about the top 2 greatest commandments, so why does he link them together?

Because they are indicators of one another.  Hey, are you loving the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind?  Then let me see how you’re doing with your neighbor.  How is your ‘growing relationship with God’ doing anyway?  Don’t tell me it’s doing great and then use your friends as a means to an end.

In Scripture, real friendship is painted as synonymous with sacrifice.  David and Jonathan’s friendship meant that their souls were “knit together” and Jesus said that there is no greater love than when someone gives their life for a friend.  Then he proceeded to exemplify this by giving his life, not only for his friends, but for his enemies too.

I confess that this is one of my biggest struggles.  Oh not working on my friendships, I actually love doing that.  But forgiving those I feel have wronged me in some way.  I have so many friends and work so hard on my relationships that it’s easy for me to tell myself that I don’t need that person as a friend, because I have plenty of them.  And while that very well may be true, I don’t like the hole that occurs in my heart after I decide to walk away from the person who has hurt me.  This whole devastates not only my future relationships, but also my walk with God.

So I’m not asking you not to work on your relationship with God.  I’m simply challenging the notion that it is more important than working on your relationship with others.  I would even contend that every time religion goes awry and you hear a story about a suicidal tribe of religious nuts who give their lives to be taken up to God in a UFO or a group of people (many times religious) who believe that another group of people should be eradicated from the earth or are inferior to them in some way, that these are instances where you are trying to get only half of the greatest commandment right, and are failing miserably even at that.  For in order to love God, you HAVE to love people.  Your friends.  Your enemies.  Your neighbors.  The wait staff at the worst restaurant you’ve ever been to.  Your local and federal politicians.  Gotta love ‘em.

Sucks, doesn’t it?

Proverbs 4:23 – Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

I’m not sure how this sounds but one of the things I’ve looked for in any relationship I’ve found myself in, whether it be friendship or dating Carie or meeting people in church or playing basketball is the condition of their heart.  Clearly I can’t see anyones heart, but somehow I know, like you might know, what that looks like.  I’m quite sure in my lifetime I won’t be finding any perfect people, but I want to know whether or not the people who invest in me and I invest in them have some particular qualities, and the biggest one – a soft heart.

I find it quite difficult to define what this means but I’ll give it a try.  A person with a soft heart will listen before they will talk, they will learn before they will give instruction, they will care before they will dismiss, they will serve before they will take, and they will seek truth instead of imposing.

The reason this is important to me is  when I have a soft heart, and embody many of these qualities, it’s easier for me to connect with God, a relationship I believe to be the most important in my life.  When I develop a hard heart for any number of reasons, I find it easy to be in this life for me.

And to be quite honest, I don’t have time to develop friendship and trust with people who are only interested in themselves.

This last week Carie and I went on vacation.  Vacation can either be a time when my relationship with God is strengthened or it is softened.  This depends on whether I decide that life is all about eating a lot and watching movies or whether I can maintain some sort of discipline in my life that helps me to focus on the person He wants me to be while at the same time resting.  I’ve come to prefer to view vacation as more about rest than having fun, though the two don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

I think I’d give myself a B- in terms of my relationship with God over vacation.  In between GI Joe, Chick Fil-A, and the beach (in the case of the beach, there was some during too), I did have some quality time with Him.  I’m not sure what God would give me in terms of a grade, but I hope I’d pass.  This relationship is the most important one in my life, and I work really hard at it, but sometimes vacation becomes more about me then Him.