Its been a crazy few weeks.  About two months ago a famous musician/blogger confirmed to do a benefit concert for Fellowship Church, which was great considering we needed to raise some money for Phase 1 of our new building project.  Unfortunately, with 2 and a half weeks to go, the headliner cancelled and I was up a creek without a paddle.  Metaphysically, of course.

For whatever reason, I allowed the loss of the headliner to bring up a whole bunch of other negative things that were going on in my life, nothing harrowing mind you, but enough to make me plunge into a negative mindset for about 3 days.  I called friends, emailed famous people, and after 3 days of working hard to find another headliner, I got nothin’.  On Thursday night I met with our lead team at the FC and canceled the concert scheduled for 2 weeks and 3 days away.

Then Friday morning hit.

And a beautiful day landscaped Central New England.  Not that it needed to be beautiful for what was about to happen, but it helped.  I received a call from a band I had contacted earlier in the week about headlining the concert, and after some chatting back and forth, and a bit of negotiation, “The Wrecking” was our new headlining band!

So this Sunday, June 13th, from 6-9, our church will be hosting an amazing concert that I know kids from 5 to 65 will enjoy  (And possibly even older)!  The Wrecking will be headlining along with an excellent set from the Black Raspberries, honestly one of my favorite up and coming bands.  And we’ll be opening up with some sweet hip hop from The Czar, Steve Patton and Aima.  This has turned out to be an excellent concert and I can’t wait!

We’ll even be having dinner from 5-6 out in the cafe for those who are interested in some pizzas and other such goodies. Tickets are $15 in advance (Either online or at Sunday mornings @ Fellowship) or $20 at the door.

You can buy your Ticket to this great concert here!

Or you can just say hello to me here.

I’m not very good at meeting new people.  Being an extrovert doesn’t always mean you just walk up to people and start sharing your life, does it?  But I’ve been working on this recently.  Somewhere along the way I started keeping to myself more than I wanted to meet new people.  This could be the “New England” effect happening to me, who knows?

All that being said, I’ve tried to think about some of my friends who are fabulous examples of meeting new people through spontaneity, and I wanted to share some of those examples.

* (Webster, Massachusetts) My friend, Ruben Cimbron passed out gospel tracts in 1998 to girls walking by our house by asking them, “How would you like to spend eternity with me in paradise?”

* (Somewhere on the road to Waterville Valley, NH) Angela Greene started up a conversation with a guy by asking him what the writing on his shirt was all about.

* Joe Shea starts up conversations all the time by finding the common ground between him and another person.

*Carie making a batch of cookies and taking them over to our neighbors for no reason at all than to say hello.

* (another Ruben example) Ruben and I used to start up conversation (and get free food) all the time in fast food restaurants by creating straw figures and giving them to people.

One common thread I find in each of these examples springs from the idea that each time one of these “extroverts” meets someone and connects, they highlight the well-being of the person they are connecting with.  In other words, they are not trying to sell something or get them to do something (with the possible exception of the first example, used more for comic purposes than anything else), but they are interested in what the other person they are meeting has to say.

And I want to be more like that.

In 2008, I was able to:

Share life with this guy and this guy and this guy and this guy.

Enhance my vision because of Jason.

Reconnect with an old friend and learn so much from Brian.

once again be enamored by the art of my college friend Bart.

Meet and be influenced by wonderful pastors in my area like  Mike, Matt, and Josh.

Read the Hilarity of Don Miller on a regular basis.

Peer into the life and ideas of a CEO who follows Christ.

Be mentored by two of the greatest ideators in our world today, Seth & Ben (in my humble opinion)

Be inspired by the courage of Jenn.

Realize that more people blog in New England than I had previously thought.  Thanks Kevin and Erin (are you related or what?)

Combine my love for sports with my love for blogging under the genius blog of prayers for blowouts!

and read the Bible every day for a year via rss because of the great ideas of Life Church and their Bible site.

I was also able to reconnect with friends from my childhood, mentors from high school and college days, read from some of the greatest pastors in our world today on a regular basis, meet two of the most amazing brothers from Oklahoma and Virginia I probably will ever meet (Steven and Michael Harrison) and experience some of the truly great writing and thoughts of people right here in my own church.

Yep, I would suggest that you blog.

A few weeks ago I wrote this post, which was an open letter to Fellowship Church, the church I pastor.  I love to celebrate the small victories we have at our church and to actually hear and read about some of what God is doing around our little part of the world.  So here are some email responses I received from that letter.  I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

“Thanks for sharing! I am blessed to know you! I know year 2 will be an awesome year for the Fellowship movement!”

“Thanks for the inspirational message.  It was just the other day I was thinking of you and the Fellowship Church, and I realized that in the short time that I have been attending your services, I can honestly say I have learned more about the Bible and it’s teachings then in my entire 57 years on this planet!!!!
You have to understand that this is coming from a person who at the age of 4 said to his parents, “I want to be a minister when I grow up!”  So with that goal I thought I understood the bible and it’s teachings quite well.  Not that I can say I followed it with any great enthusiasm or that I pursued my childhood goal!!!   Of course I can give you a million reasons why, not that any one of them is justified, but that is another story.
I just want to say that for me, you have been very inspirational and enlightening about God’s word.”

“nicely said Brother.”

“Hey Marty,
Thank you for this letter.  When I first stepped into Fellowship and heard again (I’d seen it first online) that your mission was to lead people into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ I knew that I had found my church home.  A little more than two years later I can say with great joy that my relationship with the Lord has deepened in ways I never imagined possible while journeying with you here.  I have truly seen the body of Christ and felt the Spirit at work here, and I anticipate much more with joy!
Thank you for being my brother.  You are an inspiring leader.”

Thank You God, for allowing me to be a part of what You’re doing!

Recently I have been focusing most of my posts on relationships.  This is where I believe the most significant amount of change, both spiritual and otherwise, takes place.  And specifically In the relationships into which I pour myself.  Any relationship I have, I have as a result of the time and energy I’ve put into that relationship.  I would never blame other people for my inability to have a relationship with them.  I might blame differences in personality (which includes mine) or I might blame life’s circumstances (which also includes mine), but I would never blame someone else for not putting their time into my life.  It’s their time.  They can use it as they please.  It certainly is not anyone’s fault because they are busy or even because they didn’t want to respond.

I think sometimes we get misguided when we’re younger (let’s say 30 and under) because we see how our “infatuations” quickly turn into relationships and then incorrectly believe in some way that all of our relationships will be close and effortless.

But a relationship is hard work, especially if you are not particularly outgoing.  No.  Change that.  Even if you’re outgoing, because you have to put the effort in, and when you get shut down (which you very well may at first, and again, and again), then you have to keep trying – if you really want a relationship with that person.  “A man who has friends must himself be friendly” -Proverbs 18:24

I came to Massachusetts as a 23 year old who had a lot of friends in a lot of different places, and I quickly realized this 1 thing.  If I was going to have friends here in New England, it was going to be on me.  I was going to have to call or show up or send that email.  I also spent a lot of nights alone as a single, 20 something pastor who was told by more than one person on a given weekend night that they were busy.  But I kept calling and kept writing and kept showing up – response or no response. 

This is what a person does if a person wants to have a relationship with someone.

They relate.  And they don’t stop relating.

I have this dream. It’s a simple dream really. It starts and ends with people just enjoying being together and growing together. Not under the false pretenses of being a part of a certain status like economic, family, or religious experience, but under something deeper. It doesn’t seem deeper, but it is. By the simple idea that they just really enjoy one anothers company.

To start off, they (the people) might not exactly understand why they would want to be in this community, but they take a chance. A chance to learn, grow, live, influence, and maybe even laugh with their newfound community. Over time they would even use the word “love” to describe their journey with the community they have take a chance on.

Now remember, there is no common sense or special commonality that brings these people together, except maybe a strong desire to love God more, though they might not really understand what that means, and may not even really ever understand fully. So they meet regularly and eventually grow to a place where they can take a chance and influence others in their journey too.

Obstacles (and in some cases tools) to this dream are technology, complacency, prejudice, pride, and comfort. Taking a step towards community can be hard when you have a preconceived notion of what your day looks like,and change is hard to come by, but my dream relies on people all across New England moving out of that notion and connecting with God and people.

My dream is authentic community, and I have a long way to go. But here are 4 ATOMic steps and prayers I’m taking and praying to reach my dream:

1. Authentic community – “God, help us to drop our walls and be authentic.”
2. Transormation – “Transform us as we move toward You together.”
3. Outward reaching – “Help us to not be focused on ourselves, but to make reaching out to others
    habit we’ll never take for granted.”
4. Multiplication – “And use us to influence others to move into this journey we’re on.”

Critics please?

It’s Monday, almost a week since my last post, and I admit that it has been a nice break from the norm of daily blogging.  But I’m also glad to be back.  Thanks for not giving up on Marty Holman or his blog.  I’ve learned a lot in the last week.  I can’t wait to share and hear your feedback.  I’ll just say this about where I’m at in my life right now.  I love it!

I have a great wife, family (including my church family), and situation.  Yesterday’s service at Fellowship only materialized what I already know about where we’re headed.  Before it’s all said and done, God is going to bring a whole part of the country toward Him like never before right in front of our very eyes.

Notice I didnt say to a subculture or a style, but to Him.  I’m pumped for my friends and family and church because they get to be a part of this amazing time in New England history.  I’m pumped for you.  Because you can be a part of it too.  How?

Just ask.

Sometime in 2005 I took a test to find out what my strengths were.  I found that my top 5 were as follows: 1.  Ideator, 2.  Positivity, 3.  Connectedness, 4.  Competition, 5.  Developer

I noticed as several of my friends took the same test that several of us had one of those in common.  Out of the 7 people I know that took the test, 5 of them had connectedness as a strength.
Some qualitites of someone with this strength – “That I gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it;  I am part of a larger picture, and I must not harm others because I will harm myself;  and I am a bridge builder between people of different cultures.”

Enter the beauty of web 2.0 to people like me. 
I’m not a fan of compartmentalizing my life.  I like things, whether it’s people in my life or web sites I go to, to all be connected to one another.  This makes my mom and google both very happy.

How does this affect me?
I like it when my family and my friends and all the people in my life meet.  What makes this interesting is when they don’t get along.  I think everyone should get along.  Not like each other, just get along.

I like using google and itunes.  My friend Clay swears against itunes, and probably rightfully so, but I like when things connect together easily, so I use it.  I know, I know Clay, I sacrifice things to use itunes.  Google connects a lot of things in my web life, like my Calendar, my way to find where I might be going, my blog reader, my connect with Fellowship Church podcasts, and even my weather, not to mention my documents (I don’t have to pay for Microsoft office again!)

Weather

Holden, MA

58°F
Cloudy
Wind: N at 0 mph
Humidity: 84%

Today

74° | 54
Fri

74° | 58°

Sat

79° | 61°

Sun

76° | 61°

I like learning from anything or anyone.  Whether it’s a great pastor, a marketing expert,
or a book that gets me thinking.  This is probably why I fare better in New England than I
might have in the midwest.

I don’t like to keep people that are an important part of my life apart from each other. 

I think that there is a terrific connection between Don Miller’s “Blue like Jazz”, Vince Antonucci’s
“I became a Christian and all I got was this lousy T-shirt“, and Gregg Easterbrook’s “The
Progress Paradox”

What can I say, I like being connected.  Do you?

This has been a cultural post with Randy Elrod’s Watercooler Wednesday in mind.

I just had lunch with this guy, who pastors the First Congregational Church in Hopkinton, Mass.  It was a great lunch and I learned a lot just by chatting with him for a short while.  He has a lot more experience than I do, and I was able to pick his brain about ministry in the great territory of New England. 

Do you have people that you’ve met in your line of work or through a hobby that you might have that help you do what you do and do it better?

Marty is the husband of Carie Holman and the lead pastor of Fellowship Church in Central Massachusetts, where he’s lived since 1998.  His desire is to see people love God and love others, and so his writings usually reflect that desire.  This blog is about relationships, so here are the kinds of topics you can find here throughout the week:

Monday – Stories on our relationship with God
Tuesday – Stories on our relationship with friends
Wednesday – Stories on our relationship with enemies
Thursday – Stories on influence with new friends
Friday – 3 Reasons you should know…

Weekends – Photos of my favorite friends of the week

Enjoy Martyholman.com