This weekend is July 4th weekend.  I live in Massachusetts.

The big thing to do in Massachusetts on July 4th, and I mean really big, is go to Boston.  I’ve done this a few times now, and it is really big and really awesome.  The drawback is that millions of other people agree with you and will be there with you, making the ride to leave the city of Boston impossible to do at a decent hour.

A few years ago at Fellowship, we started a new “tradition” on the Sunday of July 4th weekend.  We began having an outdoor service and a party on our property that day.  Last year, the church surprised me by celebrating my 10th anniversary here at this church.  It’s amazing to be around the people you love.  To hang out and play games and talk and enjoy the beauty of God’s creation with your closest friends.

This year, the two events happen to coincide:  Boston’s July 4th, and the Party in the Park.

And if I had my choice (cause really I don’t this week), I’d go relational before I would experiential.

We love the experiential, don’t we?  To experience big things and huge events and the next great adventure.  But one thing I learned a long time ago is that if I had the choice to do experiential or relational, I should pick relational.  I should be where I know people love me and care about me.  I should pour into them and allow them to pour into me.  And I should wallow in the experience of being with my community.  This is why I’ve turned down free tickets to huge games and concerts to attend date night with my wife or small groups during the week.  Because I know at the end of the day, my wife, and the people I share life with, are going to be there with me long after the season ends or the newest tour is finished.

When I was in high school, I had the opportunity to travel on a trip to Mexico with my friends, classmates, and teachers.  It was kind of a missions trip and kind of a learning adventure to an area  of Mexico called Monterrey.  The trip had been planned and we were all pretty excited to go, when I received a call from my uncle Matt, telling me he had some tickets for me to see DC Talk at his church, and then he was sure I would be able to meet them.  I loved DC Talk!!!  It was going to be so epic, and I couldn’t wait, and it was right in the middle of my planned trip to Mexico.

Naturally, I begged my dad to let me go.  I told him it was only Mexico, like one country away, and I could save my traveling for going to a country farther away some day, and that this opportunity wouldn’t last forever, and that DC Talk’s Free at last was the best album ever.  My dad wasn’t feeling it though, and he calmly said I could go to any concert I wanted after I came back from Mexico.

I learned some big lessons on that trip.  I remember eating a jalapeno so hot that it made me vomit in the middle of the street.  I remember the exhilaration of having a high school crush to the experience of said crush taking my heart and crushing it in her cold bony fingers (that’s poetic more than literal, btw).  I remember the beauty of the mountains in Mexico, and the smell of the marketplace cooking in the towns.  But most of all, I remember the people I met there and the people with whom I traveled.  Amazing people.  People who poured into my life for years and helped make not only this experience, but most experiences in the early part of my life much better.

I’ve since gone to numerous DC Talk shows, and seen about 100 other incredible concerts since then, but the one thing I have since learned, that I believe helped change my life, was when it comes to making a decision – Should I do this or this? – Always make that decision with the people who love you the most in mind.

Experiences will come and go, but relationships will tell the world who you really were.

*By the way, this post isn’t even about how horrible July 4th in Boston is.  My friend Jay goes every year with his closest friends (minus me) and makes a day of it.

We’re going through a series in our church called “30 days to live.”  The main question for the series that we are asking:  If you had 30 days to live your life, how would you spend it?

It would appear that this has come absolutely true for one of our members, Stanley Urbanowicz.  Stan was an amazing guy who, in the year I’ve known him, poured so much of his life into mine.  Then this morning, he passed away to be with Jesus.  In his last 30 days, he couldn’t move much, or work hard, or see too many people, which made me ponder the above question a lot more.

Because if I had 30 days to live, would I even be able to spend it doing much of anything?  Would I be too sick or too tired or even too unmotivated?

The reality is that none of us know when we’re going to pass on.   God has given me a little bit of time and little bit of space in this world to do what He has enabled me to do, and it’s up to me to use my time now to accomplish those things.

But man, is it scary.  Watching someone pass on is a sure fire motivational tool for seeing your life differently, for scrutinizing what you should be doing as opposed to what you are doing.

There’s really no point to this post other than for you to know that Stanley Urbanowicz was an amazing man who loved Jesus and that his passing makes me celebrate his life and contemplate my own.

Thanks Stan.

I have a prayer journal I’ve  written in every once in a while since January 2000.  This morning I reviewed this entry written 5 years ago this month when Carie and I started dating:

Dear God,

I guess my desire is to be a man for you.  Like my grandfathers and my dad.  What examples you have given me and laid out in front of me.  I long to be like your Son Jesus Christ every day.  To reach new heights, and to love you like I never thought possible.
I also desire to love others in a true, honest, and pure way. 
And one more thing…I also want to grow old with Carie, and have a relationship that is ALL about you.  I want to grow and I want to help her to grow.  I need to be strong!
Help God!  Help!

I love You.
Marty

God, help me to care for the people you’ve put in my life.
You have been incredibly gracious, loving, loyal, forgiving, and soveriegn, guiding me and moving me.
And all I want is to surrender to You.
Unfortunately, if I was being honest, I would say that these incredible feature I have just described you as having have also made me complacent at times and unloving to others at times, not because of who You are, but because of who I am – selfish.
So with the same discipline that I must use to exercise or eat right or not waste my time, help me to love others.  Not only by the likeable qualities of kindness and peace, but also truth and faithfulness and courage.
Then, and only then, will I know what it is to be like Your Son, Jesus Christ.
And that’s what the people in my life need.

This weekend my wonderful wife Carie turns another year older.  I’ll let you say “happy birthday” to her and allow her to reveal her age if she wishes.  But I will say this:  She is remarkable and I love spending each day of my life married to her!

Happy Birthday Carie Marie Holman!
Your turn.