In the church world, we are constantly pushing people to become better God followers.  From sermons to bible studies to discipleship programs, we make a habit of motivating, pushing, and for some houses of faith, manipulating people into a “better relationship with Christ.” I absolutely see nothing wrong with a better relationship with Christ, but there are some other things I want to work on too.  Like becoming a better friend to people.

We use these verses about sacrificing yourself for God as a means to motivate, and then ignore a lot of relational practices in Scripture because they interfere somehow with our path towards “building the kingdom of God,” as if our being a real friend to someone is ever going to stop us from doing that.

In a few of the gospel accounts, some people come to Jesus, evidently trying to trick him into saying something wrong, and ask him what is the most important or greatest commandment in the law?  Without the benefit of Jesus’ words in front of us, I fear that most of our answers, should we be asked this same question today, would be very focused on what we want our church to become.  “Know your Bible” or “Pray a lot” or “Get out there and serve” are three answers that aren’t wrong to do, they’re just not the greatest thing God wants us to do.

Jesus answers them by quoting Deuteronomy:  ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

But Jesus didn’t get asked about the top 2 greatest commandments, so why does he link them together?

Because they are indicators of one another.  Hey, are you loving the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind?  Then let me see how you’re doing with your neighbor.  How is your ‘growing relationship with God’ doing anyway?  Don’t tell me it’s doing great and then use your friends as a means to an end.

In Scripture, real friendship is painted as synonymous with sacrifice.  David and Jonathan’s friendship meant that their souls were “knit together” and Jesus said that there is no greater love than when someone gives their life for a friend.  Then he proceeded to exemplify this by giving his life, not only for his friends, but for his enemies too.

I confess that this is one of my biggest struggles.  Oh not working on my friendships, I actually love doing that.  But forgiving those I feel have wronged me in some way.  I have so many friends and work so hard on my relationships that it’s easy for me to tell myself that I don’t need that person as a friend, because I have plenty of them.  And while that very well may be true, I don’t like the hole that occurs in my heart after I decide to walk away from the person who has hurt me.  This whole devastates not only my future relationships, but also my walk with God.

So I’m not asking you not to work on your relationship with God.  I’m simply challenging the notion that it is more important than working on your relationship with others.  I would even contend that every time religion goes awry and you hear a story about a suicidal tribe of religious nuts who give their lives to be taken up to God in a UFO or a group of people (many times religious) who believe that another group of people should be eradicated from the earth or are inferior to them in some way, that these are instances where you are trying to get only half of the greatest commandment right, and are failing miserably even at that.  For in order to love God, you HAVE to love people.  Your friends.  Your enemies.  Your neighbors.  The wait staff at the worst restaurant you’ve ever been to.  Your local and federal politicians.  Gotta love ‘em.

Sucks, doesn’t it?

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Picture this:

This might be a bit controversial, but I can’t get it out of my mind.  Wouldn’t it be amazing if every church (that is under its own authority as opposed to denominational control) organization where 90% of its members have attended the church for 20 years or longer were to give all of their assets to a church planter or thriving local church in its area?  Wouldn’t it be great if they realized that the Kingdom of God could still use them in this way to make a difference, and unselfishly handed over their properties, savings, and organizational control to this “recommended” church planter or healthy church organization?
Then they could have the liberty to meet together in their homes on a regular basis without power struggle or politics getting in the way of their desire to know God more, and a new generation would be enabled to focus more on reaching their generation for Christ and less on fund raising.

Realistic?

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I’ve been thinking about entitlement.

Recently someone shared with me that the newest generation of young adults have a greater sense of entitlement than ever before.  Immediately after hearing this information, my mind went to the negative.  “How dare these kids think that they can just come in and take charge?”  I thought somewhat obtusely.

But of course this is not a negative thing, unless one is power hungry.  Generations before me loved their power and loved to be in charge, but this is not the way of the future – the way of the kingdom of God.

So now I think, “what is it about my path that allowed me to flourish and be in a place where I can fulfill God’s purpose for my life?”  There are several reasons why, and I want an opportunity to give that sense of fulfillment to others who are going behind me.  I don’t need to ‘hold power’ or be the big cheese.  That sense of entitlement for One greater than I.  But I do want to enable and entitle others to come along side me and take what I’m doing to the next level for the glory of God.

So I think back to the places that I have thrived the most.  And here are some of the things that God used to guide me to the place I am today.

1)   I was given a sense of real ownership to invest in what I was doing.
Under my first pastor here, it was music.  I was to take this ministry and build something.  If it failed, it was on me.  That’s a lot of pressure, but I loved it!  I worked hard at building something from nothing, and had to use the gifts God had given me to unite a team of musicians.  There were times I was successful, and there were times I failed miserably.  But when given the chance, I grew like I had never grown before.  And I grew within the umbrella of the church strategy.  A lot of freedom – a little rope.

2)  If I failed, the world was not coming to an end.
Under both of my mentors in the last 10 years, I was given a chance to fail.  Once again, if I had some boundaries in which to work from, and I understood the vision of the church, I could make decisions that many pastors would not have allowed me to make, and sometimes I failed miserably.  But they always asked if I learned from that mistake, and life went on as normal.  One time (in 1999), I decided to briefly skip away from the songs we had been doing and to try the hymn player the church invested in years before I arrived at the church.  The experiment was a complete flop!  I’m surprised I wasn’t laughed out of the building, but I learned from that mistake and tried again.  This is what I felt I could do because I had been given permission to fail.
Later on, Lonnie the football player/pastor allowed me to flourish in areas like small groups and even writing my own church strategy (which we eventually implemented here at the FC).  This was years of planning and failing, but ultimately, it was work I was proud of by the finish line.

3)  I always had a mentor.
During times of success in my ministry/job, I was always mentored properly.  A strong relationship had been built with these men who gently (and sometimes not so gently) guided me to help me figure out how to get to where I needed to go.  They poured into me, not only on a boss-employee level, but on a friendship level as well.  Oh they were always the boss, there was never any doubt about that, but the way they poured into me helped me to realize that I was never alone.  That screamed success to me.

I hope that people who come after me in my work and ministry, will do so with a sense of entitlement and respect.  And I hope that generation is the generation that will continue to bring on the Kingdom of God to this world that so badly needs Him.

So what’s up?  Are you entitled?

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