As a young man, teens into early adulthood, one tends to shy away from encouraging your friends with real and simple words of encouragement.  Instead, one says something like, “Sup man.”  “Nothin’, sup wit’ you?”  “Nutin, man.  ya know, stuff just happenin’”  “Cool.  Cool.”  And if this really intense conversation gets any deeper, it typically has to do with the Celtics or the hottie who just walked into that store.

I don’t remember the first time I started saying things  like “Thank you for being a great example in my life” or “I have to tell you that that act of service was nothing short of amazing” to other people face to face, but I do know that each time I do it, it gets less cheesy and less uncomfortable.  Not saying anything against thank you notes because I like them and I send them, but it takes guts and emotional risk to step outside of your comfort zone and say something absolutely nice and true to someone’s face.  I know, it shouldn’t and it seems weird to say it, but far too often we fear the reaction of others so we keep silent and talk about the weather.  This is especially true for guys.

Is it true for you?

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I seem to attract phone calls between the hours of 10 pm and 6 am, or maybe it’s my job, though many of the calls I receive are not tied to my job.  The first one I remember receiving was the summer of 2000.  In the summer of 1999, The crew I hung out with at the time and I made a habit of doing foolish things.  Among those foolish thing – pick up lines.  We would make up these wretched pick up lines and practice them before going out and using them as a means to meet new people.  The lines weren’t really to be used for “picking up” females, but as a tool to start conversations.  This was, at least, what we told ourselves.  Creativity was important, as was shock value.

My favorite:  We would pass our gospel tracts to ladies we would pass in the town where a few of us lived and say:  “Excuse me, would you be interested in hanging out with me in paradise someday?”

But there was one that we all had in our minds was amazing, that as I look back now, I think was really kind of stupid.  But it was the one no one would try.  One night we stayed out till late doing whatever it is that we did, and eventually I had to leave and go to bed.  I worked as a DJ for a radio station at the time and had to be up at 4:00 am, so I figured I should at least be asleep by 2 am.  The rest of our crew went to Denny’s for a late night snack.  While they were there, Roo (one of the crew) saw this “amazingly beautiful” girl and decided to walk over the the booth where this girl sat with three of her friends and try the line that had not been tested.

So he strutted over to the booth that held the girls in place, and sat next to the girl in question.  With his deep blue eyes (please understand, Roo had deep blue eyes), he smiled at her and said the words, “Those are nice shoes you’re wearing, wanna make out?”  A dramatic pause hung over both tables as the girls at the table digested what the strange young man had said, and then as the “amazingly beautiful” girl mulled over what her response would be.

“No.  But you guys can come over here and talk to us.”  She replied.  More awkward silence, and then everyone laughed.

Ironically after an evening of conversation and fun, the “amazingly beautiful” girl decided to ask another one of the guys in the crew out, and they went out.  (We’ll call him Joe)  Joe was much younger than Roo and “AB girl”, but evidently they had a fabulous time on their “date” and decided to go out again.  This relationship took off, but the problem was that they lived two very different lives.  Joe was a missionary kid who was currently enrolled in Bible college, and “AB girl” was none of those things and more.

To make a long story short, “AB girl” never became a Bible college student or a missionary, but Joe became the opposite of those things, eventually deciding to start living with “AB girl” and hanging out with a different crew of people all together.  I don’t judge him for that, but I do judge me for not knowing how to encourage him properly through the process.

One summer night  in the summer of 2000 while I slept deeply as I like to do, I received a call from Joe, crying his eyes out, and begging me to come get him.  I said, “Where are you?”  I asked in my normal voice at 3:30 am, which I’ve been told, sounds a lot like Katherine Hepburn talking over a vacuum.  “At her house,” he responded, sounding defeated and lost.  “Just come get me quick.”  I woke my eyes up, jumped out of bed, and drove the 10 minutes to his new/old house, where I picked him up on the curb that humid summer morning.

I never went back to bed.

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Perhaps you’ve had one recently…Perhaps not.  Mine was the last 24 hours.  It was interesting because it had been a long weekend and I was tired.  There had been a few ups and a lot of downs. 

Without going into details about what the ups and the downs were, I think I was just tired, and so the downs were highlighted in my mind.  It wasn’t a bad weekend.  It was just a hard one.  Maybe you’ve had one of those before?

And then it happened, starting yesterday morning.

Someone wrote me an email that was so encouraging, it could have, by itself, put a smile on my face for the rest of the day.  But it wasn’t by itself.
A short while later, someone called my cell and left an incredibly encouraging voice mail.  Then I received a facebook wall comment that was encouraging while I was playing basketball last night. (My team won by the way, 48-38, with yours truly putting up 12.) 

I went to bed smiling and had a great night’s sleep, which is not unusual for me, I sleep quick and good on a typical night.  But this morning, I received a comment on this blog that was, once again, incredibly encouraging.

So I start off this day with the anticipation of readiness for a long, adventurous week, but armed with a little help from people who have communicated to me how much they appreciate me.

So I wonder who needs some encouragement today from me…from you?

Until next time…

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