Last weekend I was at a wedding in Atlanta. I had a fabulous time enjoying the company of friends and new friends, with activities galore and conversation most of which started out light hearted and eventually evolved into the point where we could be real with one another.  This happens when you spend a significant amount of time with someone with whom you enjoy spending a significant amount of time.

At the end of my time away I talked to Carie on the phone and we talked for a while I was waiting for some transportation to move me toward Worcester.  Carie, always being sensitive to the way I feel and act, mentioned that I sounded really happy.  I told her that I was, and for two reasons.  First of all I couldn’t wait to return to my amazing wife.   She completes me in every way, and I am always able to be the real me when I’m with her.  Second, during the weekend I was able to completely be the real me, in community with a group of guys who accepted the person I am.

Something I’m pondering this week is how to create this type of community outside of a special weekend, retreat, or organized activity.  At our suburban churches in America we get all excited about that weekend away from everything.  That Promise Keepers or Women of Faith event that will definitely take us to the next level, and for what?  So that we can go back to our caged in lives of plastic smiley faces and non authentic words, pretending that we don’t have problems, opinions, or a desire to figure out what it’s all about?  Our world won’t be changed until we take the transforming power of God away from the occasional weekend away and move it into the “normal every day life”.

So at Fellowship that’s what we’re trying to find out – how to have authentic community in a world and a culture where we’re trained to be – I’m sorry – to look perfect.  So that at the end of every week I can come home from work or basketball or whatever it is I might be doing with my time and my wife can say, “Wow, you’re happy”.  And I can respond,

“Yeah, this is the real me.”

Communication breakdown!

With the outbreak of technology we’ve had in the last 10-15 years or so, communication has never been so easy, and so confusing, as it is right now.  I remember watching my dad minister in the 80′s and early 90′s in Ohio, and he had two options:  meet with the person or make or receive a landline call.  This was probably a lot better for focus unless he was at home and his children were busy running around the house yelling at one another.  Now we have a landline phone (anybody know what this is?), a cell phone, Instant messaging, texting, Facebook wall, Facebook  messages, Facebook chat (and Facebook pirate or vampire invitation), Skype, and video messaging coming at us very fast.

So here are some questions that have been stirring in my head.  I’ve answered them myself, and feel free to share your answers with me as well:

*When it comes to your close friends, how much (and how) do you communicate with them?

I have a whole pile of close friends, both here and away, and my answer looks like this.  My friends here I talk to on the phone about once a week, and my friends abroad I talk to about once a month.  I also tend to text a good bit to friends both here and away.  I don’t use email a lot (since the development of Facebook) because if I’m going to go into detail, I’d rather do it by voice either by phone or in person.

*As far as emailing invitations to events, how much is too much?

I wish I knew the answer to this.  Any help here?

*How much do you enjoy communicating live with people vs. communicating electronically?

Personally I love technology, but I love to hang with people more.  Playing games, shooting the breeze, talking life, love, and other mysteries is where I’m at, though I certainly understand why a lot of people enjoy communicating electronically.  It’s a lot easier to be authentic, and you can shut it down when you want it to stop.
This post might help you think about where you’re at communication-wise.

*Has the onslaught of technology helped our communication to become more authentic?

Yes.

*Has the onslaught of technology helped our communication build more community?

No.  It’s helped spark some community, but I wouldn’t say more community.

*If you could have one tool of communication, and only one, which one would it be?

Definitely a cell phone for me.  I think a laptop would be too easy to hide behind.  Plus people would find out that I’m not the All-state QB I said I was from my online persona.  Though sometimes I do like the idea of church online.

*As far as communication, what do you have to practice more of in your life?

Definitely I’d like to have more community between Carie, myself, and other friends in regular intervals throughout the week.  I don’t just want to sit back in the evenings anymore and feel bad for myself because I live in a cold tundra.

Your turn.  How do you communicate?

Last night was the last official night for my life group, as we will be splitting and moving into the next phase of our life group lives.  Once again this has been a phenomonal experience for Carie and I, and last night was no different.  We have been so blessed by growing spiritually and relationally with the likes of Garret and Sue Walker, Phil & Leslie Kenney, Ben Daggett, Whitney Jones, Pam Watson, Mark Duclos, Nicole Lagace, MB Makara, and my long time friends Steve & Amy MacArthur. 
Every week, we’ve met together to pray, read and study the Bible, read other books like “Sex God” (don’t ask), and eat and fellowship together.  It’s been an amazing ride for which I’m thrilled to be a part and I’m still looking forward to seeing what God does with my next group.
Officially I won’t be leading my next group, but I’ll be a part.  For the rest of our lives (God willing), we’ll be a part of a group of people who help to lead one another into authentic community with God and each other.

How about you?  Are you a part of a group of people who love and care about you both relationally and spiritually?