The following is not really a quote from Congressman Kennedy, but a satirical  interpretation of recent events.

“Hi, I’m Patrick Kennedy, and I’d like to be even better than my late father, Edward – I’d like to be Henry VIII.

“So what I’ll do is reveal to news outlets a confidential letter from my priest, asking me not to take communion because of my stance on the topic of abortion.  And because I don’t agree with their request, and because I typically get whatever I want (what’s my last name?), I’m going to do what’s best for everyone and reveal something personal between the church and I in an effort to make them look bad and to make me look like a victim.

“If I was a real man, I would take a step for what I really believe in, which seems to be very little based on my abuse of confidential information, and leave the church I disagree with, allowing them to have their rules and authority that they have as leaders.  But that would look bad for the voters, which is why I practice faith in the first place.  In fact, it’s why I do everything I do – the voters.  A backbone?  Why that’s for lesser men and women who have character and make decisions out of the values they hold.  Me?  I kind of just go with the flow, as long as the flow agrees with me, and of course votes for me.

“In the end, this will be just another black eye on the church.  Which is no big deal because no one votes for the church leaders, and they have thick skin.  They can suck it up.  But the good news is…

“I’m in the news again!”

sweet return or are we getting draged into soap operaville?

So, assistant to the pastor Darren just came into my office, and he said he had an idea.  He is starting a project where he is painting some walls and so he needed some painting equipment.  Now in the back hall of our church, there is one of those dark rooms where paint cans from 1978 still hang out and equipment from past painting ventures, but right now, there are several boxes in front of that door.

So Darren comes to me and tell me his idea – He feels like I should give him the church debit card, let him go to Nal’s Paint Center, and buy new equipment.  I said, “Is there any equipment we could use in the back room?”  He says,”I don’t know, there are boxes in the way.”  I reply, “So you want to leave the property, drive to get paint about 7 minutes away, spend money on things we might have here already, and come back, just so you won’t have to move boxes?”

“But there are several boxes in front of the door, Marty.”

Which would you choose?

Did you like it?

I’m not really a fan of meddling into other people’s affairs, and especially not when it comes to the media, but I was looking at some of my Twitter friends this morning and seeing what they were up to, when I came upon this article from the Star Tribune, the newspaper of the Twin Cities in Minnesota.

The article is evidently a follow up of an article she wrote previously on this state funded Islamic school in Minneapolis that promotes Islam, pushes school wide prayer, and teaches mostly, if not all of the ethics of Islam.  Now, really this is not a big deal, until you get down to one thing:  the fact that taxpayers of Minnesota are paying for the school.

It’s a charter school, and fully funded by the state.  The article goes on to say that the state has only inspected the school 3 times, twice in 2004 and once in 2007, and the focus of the visits were never to check and see if particular religions were being given special attention.

Uh…Duh!

So, this is America, right? So absolutely they have the freedom to pray and the freedom to teach their religion.  No problems there for me.  But you can bet if that were a Christian based school, all hell (possibly pun intended) would be breaking loose right now.  The ACLU (the Against Christian Liberties Union) would be up-in-arms and taking someone to court within 30 days (to be fair, the article did say the ACLU was “launching an investigation”), and the Department of Education would be doing whatever the D of E does, I suppose.

I mean, students and parents are taken to court regularly in public schools by these organizations because they take a stand and do certain things in the name of Christ.  Whether they were right or wrong in each individual case is not the point here.  The point is that I don’t want to pay, nor should I be required to pay (and this is something I’ve gotten used to) for religious educational institutions that aren’t remotely teaching what I believe.  I do want to pay for institutions that are doing a commendable job teaching what I believe, but I’m not allowed to pay those schools via my taxes, says the governement.  If I choose I can give those schools any moneys I wish out of my own personal stash.

Like the Islamic school here in Worcester, Massachusetts that opened up in the last 5 years.  On their website, they claim to raise their own funding, and this is totally appropriate.  Just like thousands of Christian schools that exist today that are struggling to survive because no one forces anyone to pay for their facilities, curriculum, and equipment.

I suppose the question is, what do you think is appropriate?

I’m going to the dentist office today at noon.  This does not make me happy. 

We won our basketball game last night, 52-40.  This makes me happy!

What makes you happy today?

Dear Ryan Seacrest,

You are a machine.  The world knows that you are a host that talks eloquently and straightforward, and never lets anything frustrate you, but you need to remember something.  Yes, you do work with a guy that believes that everyone is a “dog” and that the beginning of every song stinks, but it gets better as time goes on.  And you do work with a woman who is as normal as Michael Jackson on mushrooms and sports the vocabulary of my 6 year old nephew.  Not to mention a grumpy, mean talent finder.

But your problem is that that grumpy, mean talent finder is your boss.  He’s the guy who made you, Kelly Clarkson, Daughtry, and even William Hung very famous, and a whole lot of money.

So why do you constantly crack on the guy? Like tonight, when you rapped on him about his lack of intimacy and a few other blunders, is this a ploy to get more ratings, to get more laughs, or to get more people to like you better than him?  I can only guess that Simon’s talented mind has put you and Randy and Paula up to cracking on him throughout the show in order to create conflict, because the truth is, there is no doubt, that none of you would be anywhere near as popular as you are, if it were not for Simon Cowell.

Constantly my friends rant about how horrible he is to people and how tactless he is, and I wonder if they have seen how their fave celebs will be treated and criticized and used up by the media.  Is Simon really so bad, or is he really the only one preparing them for what their future may be anyway?

So Mr. Secrest, before you lay your head down on your pillow tonight, I think you should either pick up your telephone and call Simon right now, apologizing to him for mistreating him if you did it on your own, or thanking him for giving you a chance you may never have gotten, if he put you up to the “Simon Slams.”  Either way, American Idol would be another faded, washed up reality show without him.

Respectfully,

Marty Holman

p.s.  I voted for David Cook tonight

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