If everyone drove illegally

I’m not advocating this, but for the first 4 years I had a car (ages 21-24), only the first year did I have all the up-to-date “state-needed” credentials to owning and driving a car.  Ya know, things like car insurance, registrations, etc…?  For whatever reason, I had this great fear of the RMV.  So I learned to drive cautiously, like a scared bird flying over a gang of alley cats.  Every time I drove, I had all eyes open and ready to pull in some strange parking lot or driveway for fear that I would get stopped by a patrolling officer ready to take down the evil “non-compliant” boy from the midwest.

One time my first year in Holden, I was driving back to my apt. from a late night Boston excursion with some friends, and I finally arrived on to Bullard St around 2 am.  As I drove the mile down the street to my apt., I passed a cruiser pulling on to Bullard from one of its 4 side streets in that mile.  I was driving slowly enough, but the cruiser turned my way and followed me from a distance.  Knowing I wouldn’t speed up, and he would eventually catch up to me and probably see one of my many “non-compliant ways”, I gambled a bit.  I pulled into the driveway of  a house on Bullard St.  I had no idea whose house, just a house.  About the time I came to a complete stop, the cruiser slowly drove by, and I was left to wonder what I should do.

The cruiser turned right on to the next street, but I knew that the next street was a big loop and the officer had to eventually return to Bullard St.  So quickly I got out of the car, walked over to a huge (and wondrously low to the ground) pine tree, and dove under the pine tree.  Sure enough, the cruiser came out on to Bullard St and passed the house and my car once again, and this time even more slowly.  When the cruiser finally left my sight, I jumped up, rushed to the car with an adrenaline shot twice as powerful as any Monster drink, put it in reverse, and drove the rest of the half mile trip I had left.

Not that night, but eventually, I did get caught in my non-compliance, and I did turn from my evil ways and get all the credentials I need to be a good and safe driver in Massachusetts, but the one thing I, and my lovely wife Carie always remember is the way I drove during that time.

For this weekend, as we drove from Leominster back to our house in Holden, Carie complained that she was getting sick.  So she begged me:  “Please drive nice.  I’d like you to drive nice.  I’d like you to drive the way you used to drive before you started driving legally.”

I laughed, slowed down a lot, and looked around for a driveway or a parking lot.

Related posts:

1. The Last of the Longest Road Trip ever
2. Ice Storm 2008
3. I Finally Turned Around