This week in my life is a perfect example of an amazing Easter week!
It started off strong with high hopes because Carie and I received some amazing financial news, and then some more, and then some more. I felt a bit like Warren Buffet, or at least the China Buffet. Things were good. Then the bottom dropped out. Not so much in finances or even amongst people, but about rain. For days it has poured and poured and poured here in the Northeast. Flooding is occurring and I thought I’d have to take a boat the 200 or so feet it takes me to get to work. Facebook statuses complain of flooding basements, wet dogs, and dark days creating dark moods.
In the midst of the darkness, our Fellowship lead team gathered together in a room on Wednesday evening and talked about what we were going to do this Sunday. Most of us talked of our service, some of us talked about fishing. We laughed, we thought, we even sang a bit. And we wondered. Wondered if our Easter plans that are as different as they can be from every other Easter service we’ve done is going to work. Just like His disciples during those dark nights we wondered and we questioned (not His presence, but our ideas).
But Sunday is a-coming and with it comes sunny days, beautiful weather, uplifted moods, and a time for followers everywhere to come together and pronounce that Jesus is indeed risen, and he lives forevermore!
When I read a book, I don’t read details and individual points. I read general concepts. This is how I do it. This is who I am. So when I tell someone I’ve read a book I’ve enjoyed, and they totally believe it’s blasphemous or heretical or even absurd, then they proceed to show me why on pages, 22, 47, 89, 217, and of course, 666, I am wrong for enjoying the book. I don’t even read there emails or letters in depth. I read, “Wow, they are against that book in a way that I am not.”
In truth, I am a bit envious of people like that. People who can take the time and have the skill set to completely parse each corner and section of a passage written by an author, then tell me what’s good and/or bad about said topic as far as each section/line of the book.
I also wonder how they’re not bipolar (see “A Beautiful Mind”). For no human can possibly get everything right, and I’m sure there are agreements and disagreements about every human author’s writings, namely because there are agreements and disagreements between the writings of the book inspired by the Holy Spirit of God.
With that said, On December 28th, 2009, I began to read the Bible within a 90 day period. Some called it B90X, after the popular and intense workout video series. I wouldn’t suggest this type of reading for everyone, because it’s not for everyone. I would say its for people who are like me. They read quickly and take away the one or two main concepts of the book being read. Reading an average of 16 chapters a day probably wouldn’t work for those prone to taking apart every line they read every time they read.
But for those like me, I found the quick trip through the Scriptures refreshing and wonderful, learning things and seeing things I had never seen before. From the beginning of time when God’s amazing creation breathed its first breath to John’s last apocalyptic visions, I was introduced to a story like no other, all of which I’d heard before, but never in an entire complete scenario at one condensed time period. In this reading, for the first time in my life, the writings of Moses and Samuel and David connected so tightly with Luke and John and Paul that I could see the family resemblance.
The Gospel of Jesus came to life once again, as I read about how my Saviour, the Messiah, would live and serve, then apparently be crushed and killed, then be raised again to be with His Father, but not until after He spent a bit more time teaching those He had walked with and discipled for three years.
The best way to describe this way of reading through Scripture is the difference between Watching “Lost” week to week for years and years, and the watching it on DVD through the whole story in one short portion of time. If you’ve ever sat together with your spouse or a friend and watched episode after episode and season after season of a show, this is the way it feels. It comes to life in one shot!
For me, this way of reading the Bible is going to be a habit, for it screams of my best chance to learn and grow from that reading. This is who I am. If you’re an adventurer, I suggest you try it out once and see how you like it. If you don’t, stop. But I suggest that a regular reading of the Bible is important, not only because of what God did those many years ago in Creation to the redemption of the world through Jesus, but because of what He’s doing now in our world.
You can find a 90 day Bible reading plan or another 29 or so plans at youversion.com, a ministry of Lifechurch.tv
I’ve been thinking about this concept all day, and to be honest it kind of hurts my head, so I thought I’d share it with you, and maybe release some of the pressure.
Should my identity be made up by my ideas?
To break it down, I’m basically asking, “Should Marty be Marty and be seen as the Marty that people know because of what Marty believes to be true?”
I used to think yes, but now I’m not so sure. Why?
Because it’s almost impossible (if not impossible) to love someone whose identity you associate with someone who diametrically opposes you in terms of belief.
I grew up a Creationist. Not in the scientific realm, but in the “God said it, and so did my parents, so I believe it” realm. When I first moved to Massachusetts, I remember having lunch at the 99 with a friend of mine who had a science degree from WPI, and my friend basically told me that he believed in evolution, but he was also a Christian. He called it “Theistic Evolution.” Because I grew up associating the identity of people with what they believed, my world was crushed as this person who I trusted had quickly become someone who, to me, not only believed scandalous things, but could not possibly be a a true Christ follower.
Thankfully, I reconciled with my friend, and to this day we have a great relationship, but first, I had to separate my friend from what he believed. Not that I should have to agree with or ignore what he believed, but I first am called to love people before anything else. (See Deuteronomy and that guy who “gave His life” in the New Testament). So…
A few Mondays ago, I drove with my friend Jay to the basketball game we play every Monday night. Our team, Barnes Building, had been undefeated, and would be playing a very tough team indeed. We loosened up as we always do, and I started the game strong, scoring 2 three pointers and a layup in the first 3 minutes. The problem was, the other team scored about 20 points as we were significantly over matched. Our team was frustrated and I was among the frustrated. During one foul called on me, I turned around and mentioned to the referee that he was “clearly wrong about calling that foul.” He ignored me. This was not our first altercation.
More frustration set in, and 5 minutes into the game, the ref called a foul on one of my teammates, and I was really upset. I felt my blood boiling with an intensity probably not seen since the clash between alpha male marine and alpha male car salesman (who I’ve since found out is a trash man). So the ball had been shot by the opposing team, the foul was called and the ball bounced to me as I headed towards my bench. In realizing how frustrated I was, I motioned for someone to come onto the court in my stead. Now I was walking toward the bench with the ball, and I flipped the ball to the opposite ref.
I suppose the referee who called the foul thought in some way I was being disrespectful, because instantly he called a technical foul on me, and stated that, “By rule, the ball must go to the closest ref.” (this, I believe, is a bunch of crud) Naturally my frustration got the best of me and I told him he was full of himself and that he must be living in a “horrible call world tonight.”
Then he says to me, “Are you finished?” To which I replied, “I guess I am.” At this point, Jay yells at me, “Marty, get out of here and go into the hall. We need you. Calm down.” I knew my control issues were rising, so I took his advice, and walked towards the door. Three steps away from the door, with my head straight down and my hands on my hips, I chuckle to myself, thinking that I really need to calm down. Apparently, the provoking ref heard my chuckle, (no one else seemed to though) and called a double technical on me. I was kicked out of the game.
Furious I left the room ( he wouldn’t talk to me after I made a few comments about his refing abilities) and walked in the hallways for about 15 minutes. I had become “Angry Marty”. I was angry. Then I walked back into the gym, didn’t say a word, and watched as our team played well, but lost.
I guess this post was more about my shortcomings than anything. I like competition (not a shortcoming), I like to win, and I hate to lose. I also would (in the flesh, not the spirit) like to give the provoking referee a wedgie, but alas, he will one day be our provoking referee again, and I will need him to not try to provoke me out to the proverbial (or literal) hallway. One lesson I learned through this however…
I was in a funk last week. I don’t mind sharing this with you now, but at the time, I really struggled, mostly with my scheduling and production.
You see despite the fact that I’m not a real big tradition guy, I tend to work best in an environment where I become a creature of habit. Then I went to Haiti. The trip was eye-opening, amazing, and when I think back on it, needed. But for the week before, due to the loss of my wallet and all important information to my life, and normal preparations for a week long trip out of the country, I didn’t get much accomplished. Then for two full weeks after, I don’t know how else to say it other than I found myself in this funk or cloud or island where there was a time machine and two guys called good and evil vying for my attention (sorry, that last one was a shout out to ‘Lost’ fans).
During those two weeks I got nothing accomplished (like the week before the trip), got kicked out of a basketball game (story coming later), and became addicted to an online video game with a few of my friends. By the time Sunday, March 14th arrived. I was so irritated at myself, I couldn’t even believe it – but still, I had not a clue how to lift the funk.
On Tuesday, the 16th, Steve and I attended a funeral in south central Massachusetts. On the drive home, I received a call from a number I recognized, but couldn’t place it, so I didn’t answer. After listening to the voicemail, I realized it was Ben Arment, my Dream Year coach. We scheduled a phone appt. for that day, but I thought it was 2:00 pm, and he called at 1:00 pm. He was right. I was wrong. Not shocking, I guess, considering my funk.
In humility and with a bit of disgust with myself, I called him back and basically apologized. We chatted for a while and I guess he realized I was kind of out of it, and by the end of the convo, he says, “Well Marty, I don’t know really what to do here, the ball’s in your court. There’s some things you have to do, and you know what they are…” He let those words hang out there, and for the first time in about a month, I could see a bit through the clouds. I don’t even know if he knew how impactful his words were as I sucked them in like icy air making its way through my lungs while playing football on a cold fall day.
“Yeah, I do know what I need to do.”
The last few weeks have been a different story. I haven’t got kicked out of basketball games, or played online video games, or even sat at my desk and wondered what to do. But I have spent tons more time with Carie, and quality time with friends and I’ve even been reminded why I love doing what I do and the vision for what we’re trying to do here at Fellowship is once again clear in my head. This should not be shocking coming from me, but I think what made the funk go away and the clouds lift was the reminder that the people in my life matter, and that by focusing on people, as opposed to just tasks and simply getting stuff done, I’m helping to affect people’s lives. The life groups that we are trying to build here in central Massachusetts aren’t just simply programs of our church, but they are indeed our church. The community building vision that I am trying to get off the ground (aka fellowship Worcester, The Splat Coffeehouse) is not just something for my ego, but they are essential to my vision of the church being more effective in the context of community and relationships than simply coming once a week to a building and feeding oneself. So now I have to go, because I have things to get done and people to connect with, but…
Yesterday I posted a video of destruction during the earthquake in Port Au Prince. Today is a work of hope I filmed and edited based on the work that was done while we were there.
In February, I took a trip to Haiti, as I’ve written about previously, and this is what I saw driving through the streets of Port Au Prince. It is not for the faint of heart, and I hope it opens our eyes to what happened there. Fellowship Church is raising funds to help the relief effort there, so if you’re interested, you can donate here.
There’s something amazing about driving through a place in the back of a pick up truck.
No, I haven’t gone redneck on the world, but driving 65 mph with the wind blowing on your face in 95 degree weather in February helps you to appreciate the beauty of a place more even then being in the passenger seat. One of the highlights of my 2003 trip to England was the time I spent driving through Oxford on the top of a double decker bus, and while there was not double decker buses on my trip to Haiti, there was a 1986 Toyota Land Rover with 30,000 miles on it that I consistently traveled in the back of which gave me a chance to appreciate the beautiful landscapes of the demoralized nation.
Now I must confess that I’m not a normal fan of the open air. In fact, I’d rather have air condition or heat (whichever results in 72 degrees during that time of the year) any day, but of course, when it’s 95 degrees out and you’re in the back of a truck, the temperatures are cooler because of the movement. So I soak it in, with my co-travelers and some new friends and we drive.
We don’t talk much. We don’t need to, because we all understand what we’re about to experience, and we all see. We see mountains on one side. Beautiful rolling hills with the occasional 15′ by 30′ house that probably holds around 15 people and is partially damaged by the earthquake that happened last week. Then we drive farther and we see more mountains marked and dotted with small rocks. One of us ask what those rocks are about and a simple, yet honest answer is given: They are mass graves holding roughly 200,000 people dead because, as far as much of the population is concerned, God is mad at them.
More silence.
On the other side is the ocean, big and blue and incapable of providing the clean water source that so many of them need to survive at a more livable environment. But it is beautiful and perfect, especially in the back of a truck where 8 of us stand straight up looking across the countryside and trying not to fall onto the bags of stuff we have brought with us.
The thing I take from this is that despite the horrific things I would see this week, beauty shone brightly. In the people, in the mountains, in my new friends, and in the wind that helped mask the smell of destruction that occurred the week before.
And then I think about the passage in Matthew 4, quoted by Jesus’ own disciple, Matthew from the OT Scrolls of the prophet Isaiah, “And the people who sat in darkness saw a great light.” Then I thought that no destruction, no catastrophic event, and no disaster, natural or humanly propagated, is bigger than God. And when all hope seems lost, He finds a way to take care of His children, bring neighbors from different lands together, and give us unique views of His creation from anywhere…
More than anything on my trip to Haiti, I learned leadership lessons I will never forget. When the Sister, who for almost 30 years, has lead the Coty Project we were a part of last week, spoke, people listened. And the things they are accomplishing there in Haiti amidst the darkness speak volumes of what happens when a life is focused and devoted to God.
My first leadership lesson: Pick it and stick with it
The airport in Port Au Prince is not exactly JFK, the airport from which we departed. There were multiple buildings, but a few of them looked more like advanced barns than they did steel structures. A band did play loudly in one of the hallways however, and that was nice. We went through customs and headed for the madhouse that was the baggage claim. Actually it was more like a free for all. Our bags just happened to be as heavy as they would make them as we were hauling medical supplies, so no one would be able to grab them quickly.
The team of 5 I flew in with finally rounded up our gear and made our way to the exit. Shortly before we found our way to the end of the tunnel though, we were introduced to Sister Eunice, the head of the Haiti Plunge, and one of the best leaders I’ve ever met.
My first lesson was here, in this place when we met. She told us, “when you go outside, you pick someone to help you with your baggage, and stick with that one person. You say, ‘You are my person’ and deny everyone else. Focus, because it’s crazy out there.” I had no clue what she was talking about until we walked outside where there was a huge red fence at the exit, and hundreds of people wearing red hats, and apparently wanting to help me with my baggage. I then realized that what works in America would not work here in the Port Au Prince airport, and now was not the time for tactfulness.
I picked a person out of the throngs that vied for my attention, and looking him straight in the eye, I said “You, please take these.” He did, and we began walking to the truck where our bags would end up. But another man also helped him with my bag. The bag did not need two guys carrying it, but as we walked to the truck, I wavered and thought that this man was doing such a nice thing, I should give him some money too.
Sister Eunice disagreed. In my first experience with tough love for the week (and as you’ll find out there was plenty more), she asked me, “Did you hire this man?” pointing at the man I hired. “Yes, I did,” I responded. “Did you hire this man?” She asked again, except this time referring to the other man. “No, I didn’t, but I can…”
“NO! You didn’t hire him, and so he needs to learn that. Do not give him any more money!”
In retrospect, I understand what she was saying, but at the time, I thought it was a bit harsh. But the overall lesson I learned this week, she had begun to teach me, and would continue to teach me throughout the week:
This is not about a one week excursion to make you feel better Marty, this is about developing people and developing their culture. So start here. Pick one, and stick with that one. This will teach a work ethic and not endorse or create begging.
I think now about all the things that I waiver on, and realize the dangers and roadblocks this creates to the vision God has given me to accomplish here in New England. When it comes to decisions that need to be made and plans that need to be executed, there is very little room for indecision. Sure there is a time at the beginning where you craft and plan for what will happen, but then you carry it out and make it happen.
