What? You’re not my friend anymore?
I’m freeing myself slowly from it. The need to be everyone’s friend. Sure I’m friendly with everyone, after all, it is my personality. But friends – I’m getting away from the addiction.
I used to believe that as a pastor of a church, I had to be friends with everyone in the church. Consequently I would bend over backwards trying to please everyone, pour into everyone’s life individually, and in the end have a heaping full of watered down relationships.
Recently I’ve realized a better way. Friendly towards all, but friends toward a few. Real friends are hard to come by and they are not going to be made once a week in an hour. Real friends develop connections through long conversations, time spent in mutual activity, and being real with one another.
I still believe the church is an amazing place to find real friends of character, integrity, and sacrifice, I just don’t believe that that friend has to be be me anymore. It could be a life group leader or a band member, a nursery volunteer, or just a wise individual who happens to be in a seat each Sunday. Just because someone has a title doesn’t mean they are your friend. A title doesn’t make a friend…
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Thanks for sharing Marty. This was something I really needed to hear/read today.
i still want you to know that if i had the opportunity, you’d be on my list of friends i wish i had:)
p.s. this is called growing. i remember staring at a list of over 300 people i considered to be friends in the late 1990′s. to a person, there are only maybe one or two who still interact with me. it used to hurt, now i know it’s just life.
p.p.s. …then came facebook…a fresh opportunity for a new list and still the chance to know you may still be getting ignored:)
STILL–an awesome opportunity to interact!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dYpnd_9TFs
: )
Wait….does this mean we’re not gonna play settlers when i get home this week? Or that we’re not going to have pick bball games? watch the celtics and then greys anatomy? You’re not going to give me relationship advice that i won’t follow? You’re not going to make me laugh till coffee comes out my nose? Oh wait, you ARE- cuz we’re friends
Proud to call you friend- and i’m proud that you recognize that you don’t have to be everyone’s, you’re brave to put this out there.