I’m wondering.

Who was the person that has impacted your life the most that you have met in 2009?  I mean with 288 days gone in this calendar year, there is certainly someone new in your life who has made a dent in that complacent life of yours.  Someone who has changed and challenged all the previous rules and driven you to think that more is possible in your life.  This year I’ve met two individuals, Sean and Michael, who normally rock my world each time I chat with them.  So I respond by thinking more and wanting to be more in terms of where I’m at in life.  Husband, future father, pastor, leader, friend are all ways that these guys push me.

So I’m pretty excited about other people I’ll meet in 2009 and 2010 who can impact where I’m at and where I’ll be going.  And I’m thankful to God for continually bringing people into my life to help me grow…

And really, 6’3″ is not enough.

What if you gave a teacher or a leader  everything they wanted?

At Fellowship, I’m teaching through a series called “I want to be one of them” and highlighting some heroes of the Christian faith.  I’ve shared the stories of George Mueller and Tony Dungy so far with two weeks left.  One of those weeks we will be talking Jonathan Edwards, one of the great pastors/theologians/authors/philosophers of 18th century New England.  As I’m reading one of his biographies, a thought came to my mind concerning learning from other people:

What would happen if I gave everything I had to mimic the teachings and example of ______________________?

Whether the “fill in the blank” for you is Jonathan Edwards, Joel Osteen, Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela, Billy Graham, Rob bell, John Piper, Martin Luther, or Martin Luther King, what would happen if you gave them everything they wanted from you in their lives?

Now I understand the rhetoric that’s coming next from most people that we just follow Jesus, but every teacher and leader wants us to do and give something, and finding out what that is might be important.  Because we, being human, tend to be very one dimensional and like people who are like us and do not like people who are not like us.  If you like Jonathan Edwards or John Piper, you might like to have fun, but probably not when it comes to church.  If you’re into Joel or Nelson, I’m guessing you believe everything’s changing slowly into this ultimate utopia.  If mother Theresa or Martin Luther is your thing, then you want to work, work, work for the kingdom, kingdom, kingdom, and when you’re done, you have to keep going.  Clearly these are huge stereotypes and not to be made a big deal of, but the question is…

What would be the end result if you wholeheartedly followed the people you listened to?

One of the biggest enemies you have concerning making and keeping friends is you.

Your own insecurities tell you that that person meant something else when they said that or when you read that email, you were sure that the implication was somehow against you, and so you started dwelling on how you could reply – and more times than not it’s defensively.

In recent years I’ve stopped trying to read people because a) I am not that person and b) even if that person thinks what I’ve perceived that person to think, it doesn’t matter anyway.  They are entitled to their opinion and I am entitled to be me.  The problem arrives when I expect them to be me, which they are not.  But here’s what you can do.

If you believe they are thinking or implying something inappropriate, then ask them.  And instead of holding all sorts of false beliefs about how another person thinks or feels write an email and ask (or better yet, make a phone call) and take the guesswork out of it.  You’re no better at reading people from an email or a 20 second quote than I am at snow skiing, and believe me, that’s not all that good.

So today, instead of criticizing what that person might have meant by that word or that line in the email, believe the best and take the guesswork out of the equation or don’t have friends at all.

Your choice.

I’m freeing myself slowly from it.  The need to be everyone’s friend.  Sure I’m friendly with everyone, after all, it is my personality. But friends – I’m getting away from the addiction.

I used to believe that as a pastor of a church, I had to be friends with everyone in the church.  Consequently I would bend over backwards trying to please everyone, pour into everyone’s life individually, and in the end have a heaping full of watered down relationships.

Recently I’ve realized a better way.  Friendly towards all, but friends toward a few.  Real friends are hard to come by and they are not going to be made once a week in an hour.  Real friends develop connections through long conversations, time spent in mutual activity, and being real with one another.

I still believe the church is an amazing place to find real friends of character, integrity, and sacrifice, I just don’t believe that that friend has to be be me anymore.  It could be a life group leader or a band member, a nursery volunteer, or just a wise individual who happens to be in a seat each Sunday.  Just because someone has a title doesn’t mean they are your friend.  A title doesn’t make a friend…

a sacrifice does.

Hanging out with Mike and Roo after an 18 hour drive

The times I remember the most are the ones I had to get off my duff and have.

The time Carie told me she’d never ever date me, then two weeks later, after she had time to reconsider, I remember watching the sun set on a Friday night (August 29, 2003, if you were wondering) listening to the reasons why she changed her mind.

Or the time I drove to Massachusetts in 1997 on about 2 hours notice because I had 5 days of nothingness.  The trip took 18 hours of driving solo.  Then after hanging out with my friends Ruben and Mike for 2.5 days, I headed back 18 hours to Atlanta.  Oh yeah, and I had just arrived into Atlanta from Tucson, AZ (35 hour drive) that evening.

Or the time Dave and I decided to gank a newspaper machine from out front a dollar store.

Or watching a play I wrote and directed be performed on Easter 2001 here at Fellowship Church.

Or taking pictures with the family in Mexico that our team had built a small house for.

Or the time last Saturday when I stood inside of a crowd of people, mostly younger, and jumped up and down to a few hard core Christian bands for the first time in more than 5 years.  I kept thinking to myself, I’m too old to be here.  But after reading Donald Miller’s newest work of art, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, I realized I was just creating another memorable scene in my life.  The kind of scene that I will look back and and be happy that God put me on this earth to live out an incredible story of memorable scenes.  Not necessarily a story (on this earth anyway) with an incredible climax where all my problems go away and my life eventually resolves itself, but one of fulfillment through Jesus and…

a whole lot more memorable scenes.

Spend time with God today.

Aaaahhh, yes, the day off.

This week the team worked hard to prepare for an amazing experience on Sunday morning @ Fellowship and to provide that same experience online.  My focus will be in James, and we’ll spotlight one of my Christian heroes, George Muller.  But today I rest.  Not much on the schedule except Finders and date night with Carie.  That’s on purpose.  Rest is important.  One day of rest is as important as 5-6 days of work.  It helps focus you to your priorities and rejuvenates you to keep going.
And for me, one of the most important things about the day of rest is some quality time with God.  He reminds me that what I do is not about me but it’s about Him working through me, and as I hide my face, He offers more grace.

And that is something I don’t deserve.