I hate her, but I sure do love God
In the church world, we are constantly pushing people to become better God followers. From sermons to bible studies to discipleship programs, we make a habit of motivating, pushing, and for some houses of faith, manipulating people into a “better relationship with Christ.” I absolutely see nothing wrong with a better relationship with Christ, but there are some other things I want to work on too. Like becoming a better friend to people.
We use these verses about sacrificing yourself for God as a means to motivate, and then ignore a lot of relational practices in Scripture because they interfere somehow with our path towards “building the kingdom of God,” as if our being a real friend to someone is ever going to stop us from doing that.
In a few of the gospel accounts, some people come to Jesus, evidently trying to trick him into saying something wrong, and ask him what is the most important or greatest commandment in the law? Without the benefit of Jesus’ words in front of us, I fear that most of our answers, should we be asked this same question today, would be very focused on what we want our church to become. “Know your Bible” or “Pray a lot” or “Get out there and serve” are three answers that aren’t wrong to do, they’re just not the greatest thing God wants us to do.
Jesus answers them by quoting Deuteronomy: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
But Jesus didn’t get asked about the top 2 greatest commandments, so why does he link them together?
Because they are indicators of one another. Hey, are you loving the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind? Then let me see how you’re doing with your neighbor. How is your ‘growing relationship with God’ doing anyway? Don’t tell me it’s doing great and then use your friends as a means to an end.
In Scripture, real friendship is painted as synonymous with sacrifice. David and Jonathan’s friendship meant that their souls were “knit together” and Jesus said that there is no greater love than when someone gives their life for a friend. Then he proceeded to exemplify this by giving his life, not only for his friends, but for his enemies too.
I confess that this is one of my biggest struggles. Oh not working on my friendships, I actually love doing that. But forgiving those I feel have wronged me in some way. I have so many friends and work so hard on my relationships that it’s easy for me to tell myself that I don’t need that person as a friend, because I have plenty of them. And while that very well may be true, I don’t like the hole that occurs in my heart after I decide to walk away from the person who has hurt me. This whole devastates not only my future relationships, but also my walk with God.
So I’m not asking you not to work on your relationship with God. I’m simply challenging the notion that it is more important than working on your relationship with others. I would even contend that every time religion goes awry and you hear a story about a suicidal tribe of religious nuts who give their lives to be taken up to God in a UFO or a group of people (many times religious) who believe that another group of people should be eradicated from the earth or are inferior to them in some way, that these are instances where you are trying to get only half of the greatest commandment right, and are failing miserably even at that. For in order to love God, you HAVE to love people. Your friends. Your enemies. Your neighbors. The wait staff at the worst restaurant you’ve ever been to. Your local and federal politicians. Gotta love ‘em.
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Marty – Great post, thanks for your heart and for sharing these thoughts!
Interesting post, but how does this fit with the one of Oct 13th?
Thanks Travis!
Michael, help me out. Not sure how it contradicts.
I guess I’m assuming that you’re saying that it does in some way, but after re-reading your comment, you may or may not have been saying that. You may have just been asking how exactly they fit together. Could you ask the question more specifically? Gracias.
“I have so many friends and work so hard on my relationships that it’s easy for me to tell myself that I don’t need that person as a friend, because I have plenty of them. And while that very well may be true, I don’t like the hole that occurs in my heart after I decide to walk away from the person who has hurt me.” But on the 13th, you said confidently that your were focusing on a few friends. I guess the 13th was true, but this confirms you are bummed by the idea.