Comments on: Do you act like a manipulative middle schooler? http://martyholman.com/2009/09/doyouactlikeamanipulativemiddleschooler/ Inspired by a true story Sat, 31 Jul 2010 21:08:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: jeff http://martyholman.com/2009/09/doyouactlikeamanipulativemiddleschooler/comment-page-1/#comment-9242 jeff Fri, 04 Sep 2009 15:32:36 +0000 http://martyholman.com/?p=1715#comment-9242 I've been contemplating how "iffy" it all is too... I don't know exactly how to put into words this tension, but there are these levels and forms of manipulation in the church that are not intended, and they may in fact be impossible to do away from. Consider faith. If someone believes something important-- for example, that Christ was the son of God, and that this son-ship was unique in all of human history-- it is natural for this person to feel somehow more at home with others who share this belief. From within, this feels and looks like fellowship. If the person started doubting there belief, or others never believed at all, it's easy to say "Well, that's manipulative. You're forcing me to believe like you do so that we can hang out together." That statement is an oversimplification, of course. Everyone I know wants to be around people with different beliefs. But there's no getting around the fact that it's pretty typical to let your guard down, and to feel a special sense of connection, with those who share your beliefs. The flip side of this special connection is something quite close to manipulation, and I find myself pondering what to do with that. I’ve been contemplating how “iffy” it all is too… I don’t know exactly how to put into words this tension, but there are these levels and forms of manipulation in the church that are not intended, and they may in fact be impossible to do away from.

Consider faith. If someone believes something important– for example, that Christ was the son of God, and that this son-ship was unique in all of human history– it is natural for this person to feel somehow more at home with others who share this belief. From within, this feels and looks like fellowship.
If the person started doubting there belief, or others never believed at all, it’s easy to say “Well, that’s manipulative. You’re forcing me to believe like you do so that we can hang out together.”

That statement is an oversimplification, of course. Everyone I know wants to be around people with different beliefs. But there’s no getting around the fact that it’s pretty typical to let your guard down, and to feel a special sense of connection, with those who share your beliefs. The flip side of this special connection is something quite close to manipulation, and I find myself pondering what to do with that.

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