Get off my back!

Jul 13 2009

I have been pressured many times in my life to head to another stage of life prematurely.  I think driving was the first .  “I bet you can’t wait until you’re able to drive, can you?”  This was the first and only pressure situation I agreed with, probably because of my immaturity.  The ones that followed – not so much.

After I left college, I was asked time and time again when I was going to get married.  Over and over for the next 10 years people asked me that question, much of that time I was doing my part for the kingdom of God.  “Good pastors have good wives,” I would hear adult men and women say.  In my head I would respond, “Yeah, a lot of bad pastors have good wives too,” and “a lot of good pastors have horrible wives as well, what’s your point?”

But my clearly negative reaction to the questions never stopped them from coming.  Who cares what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7, our culture says that pastors have to get married so they don’t burn (I think that’s in the Bible, right?), so it doesn’t matter who you marry, just do it quick!!!

Praise God for Carie!  I don’t know how many more questions or accusations of being gay I could have taken, but when I finally found the woman who was perfect for Martin Jon Holman, unbelievably the kidding and questions stopped…

for about 6 months.

(guess what the pressure is all about now?)

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4 responses so far

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  1. buddy, i am right there with you

    and i’m ALREADY getting your next question – and i’m still 4 months away from marriage

    our response: we’re don’t really think we’re supposed to have kids
    typical reply: (shocked) are you serious?!?!?!

    our response: dead serious
    but we’ll let you know if we have an ooops kid – because we’re not planning on it

    typical reply: oh, you’ll change your mind
    our response: we highly doubt it

    typical reply: uh,, umm, ok, so, umm, well, uh, i guess, umm.. so, how is wedding planning going?

  2. Even though pastor’s and their family live in a fishbowl, people need to mind their own business. Good word Marty.

  3. Even when you have a kid the questions don’t stop… “When are you going to have another?” And then the question Al and Erica are facing… “When are you going to stop?” “Isn’t 4 enough?”
    Just remember you aren’t the only one being asked.

  4. thank you. thank you. thank you.
    i hope when i return to MA, and to FC i won’t be greeted by the un-ending questions of relationships, marriage, life……
    I know you appreciate this even more since you got married in your late twenties- it’s like unless you married and pregnant by 30 you mine as well throw in the towel. People dont realize that maybe- just maybe- the single people would LOVE to meet someone great they can spend their life with, and maybe just MAYBE their holding out for someone that completes them, instead of just settling for the next available person. And by everyone constantly saying something about the fact that you’re still single that that might be painful. Think people! Imagine your life if you’d never met that wonderful mate of yours when you did….and watching all your friends and loved ones so content, AND having those people ask what’s wrong with you, why cant you find someone…..
    *sigh.
    Thanks marty.

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