A “Fight” to the finish?
Last night I played basketball after life group. My team had a game, and so I decided I would play in it. I have tons of thoughts going through my head right now about the value of teamwork that I’m learning from this team, my life group, and my church in general, but I’ll save that for a later date.
We were bringing the ball down for the last time, the game was locked up, and we had successfully beaten our rival team (the Green shirts). The buzzer sounded, and just then I turned around to see our senior statesman on the team being thrown down for no apparent reason by a green shirt boy wonder 25 years his junior. Senior statesman, a man I greatly respect, was pretty mad when he scraped himself off the ground. I was mad too, actually, as Green shirt boy wonder stared Senior Statesman down and mouthed the words “What’s his problem?”
“Well,” I thought to myself with immediate disdain for Green shirt wonder boy, “for no apparent reason you have just thrown a man 25 years your senior about 5 feet and down to the ground (and continuing in my thoughts I added), stupid Green shirt wonder boy.”
It is in these moments I wonder what to do. Because I want to get up in his face and ask him why he didn’t shove me that far, to which of course he would say, “I will” and the fun would be had by all. Or I could let it play out, and just sit by and rejoice that we won the game. But I really want to help our Senior Statesman out, plus I know I also have the back of Policeman Hercules on our team. Also I don’t want to be like Alpha males Marine or Car Salesman. Yet the headline, “Pastor in Holden goes to jail for a public fighting display,” doesn’t sound so appealing either.
So it played out how it played out and I’m sitting here at my computer sharing with you the story of my evening, and I wonder, with all the honesty you can muster…
Just exactly how you would have let it play out?
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Wow…Drama on the court eh? Sr. Statesman didn’t press charges?! J/K!
Really, I’m not sure how I would respond. It would probably be along the lines of getting in the guys face, and coming to the
defense of my teammate. Not to start a riot or all out brawl, but to let me team know i won’t stand for anyone attacking them. No how no way!
wow sounds like there was more drama than a high school girls locker room. I think I probably would have stepped up and let the guy know that his actions were unnecessary, uncalled for, and would not be tolerated. One of the strengths of a team is their ability to protect the whole. If each person is working towards making the team better, and protecting that work, then you have a successful team.
Intense game with an unnecessary finish. Thankfully “senior statesman”, despite his embarrassing display of losing his cool, walked away. Teammates did right thing and watched but did not escalate what could have turned out to be a bad seen. Clearly, Marty, your team showed good judgement as they stood by their teammate to be sure it went no further without acting on impulse. Be thankful you are playing with a great group of guys (you included) who handled things perfectly.
So, there’s no way to not sound cheesy when I say this. But there’s no way to not say this, either.
How did Jesus respond to these sorts of things?
So much is about interpretation. I know that some people believe Jesus took a lot of crap. I actually think that this is a fairly niave reading of his responses and reactions. A full, context-rich reading of what he did, most often, I think, leads to an understanding that he neither passively took crap not did he agressively fight fire with fire.
It’s extraordinarily hard to find Jesus’ third way in every day life. Folks like Martin Luther King and Ghandi (yes, I know Ghandi wasn’t a Christian) provide some good examples and express indebtedness to him as they responded to unjustice. Both of these guys were at their greatest when they used their opponents humanity for their own purposes.
More specifically to situation:
There is the option of simply saying, “Hey man, I don’t want to play the kind of game where people are knocking each other down.”
More Christlike: What if every time this guy gets agressive, what if you called a foul on yourself? Many of Jesus’ responses to unjustice worked around the victim being so over-the top submissive that he exposes evil and agression. It’d be kind-of hilarious if the game kept getting stopped for foul shot after foul shot (Is that how it works in these games: foul shots) every time this guy fouled somebody.
Perhaps he’d get them in. Perhaps your team would lose. But what a ridiculous hollow victory for the other team: to win a game where the other team basically handed it over.
I would have ended up in the Landmark police blotter… Not trying to sound tough or macho but I know in the heat of the moment I would have grabbed boy wonder by the neck and thrown him to the ground.
well, I would peacefully approach both parties and ask them calmly to explain their sides, then sit for a moment, and after coming up with the best conclusion, I would present a solution to the both of them, and then shake each of their hands and thank them for the opportunity to be part of their lives, and then walk away. I think any kind of tension would totally dissipate in such a situation.
bam.
This sounds like every “Christian” league I have ever been involved with. Me…I would have decked him and then helped him up…the right thing is probably what you did Marty.
Mike, when did you become that annoying Michael Landon touched by an angel character? I like it better when your provacative.
a- burns is being sarcastic.
b- marty i’m proud of you. It’s so easy in any kind of competitive game/sport to let testosterone take over and react. I think it’s perfectly acceptable to point out that everyone’s there to have a good time, get some excercise and he’s not kevin garnett. You have a gift with sarcasm Marty….would Jesus have given you this gift if he didn’t want you to use it?
a-I’m not at all being sarcastic
b-I am provocative only in words, and in non-threatening deeds. I use words and actions and gestures to bring about change in the community around me, but..
c-violence ONLY solves violence when the first offender will not understand anything other than violence, which is *usually* not the case. Of course crazy terrorist groups who kamikaze an abortion clinic won’t understand anything unless you throw them to the ground and strip off their bombs and backhand them to the face a few times.
seriously, why do people burst out when they get angry? maybe I’m different, and maybe I’m wrong, but for me, I first use my anger to better my situation, like when I’m losing real bad to Marty at something, rather than hit him, I get real silent and contemplative and determine how I can use my position to help me. And then after I’ve either won or lost, I hopefully go home and learn from the experience, and how to prevent the situation, or at least how to cope with it in the future.
of course sometimes people need to “let out their aggression”, but whenever I do so with a punch to the wall, or throwing something, or ripping off my shirt and turning into a green monster capable of superhuman feats, I always feel a bit stupid afterward. I feel better though, when I turn the aggression into something positive, even if it’s running around or listening to loud music.
anyway, I encourage everyone to evaluate how they deal with anger, indeed, all your emotions, and try and determine what’s best for you, and most importantly: PRACTICE THEM!!!
that is all.
burns out.