The Alpha Male Game of Basketball

Somebody scream at someone else!

I play basketball on most weekday mornings at this point. I love it because I can stay in shape, and still get to the office at a normal hour, and I love doing it.
In the pick up games I hit up, there are these two guys that are kind of good and kind of loud. We’ll call them Alpha Male Marine and Alpha Male Car Salesman. They are both white. This will come more into play later on in our story. They are typically the leaders of their teams and they make for interesting discussion.
I HATE BEING ON THE SAME TEAM AS ALPHA MALE MARINE! He gets down on himself, and he yells at anyone who dares to do something like miss a shot or get the ball stolen from them. It gets so bad at times, I think he’s going to walk off the court and cry, but instead he chooses to stick it out and yell some more at his teammates. It gets so bad, I see other people on our team (when I have the joy of being on his team) yelling at themselves for missing the shot or getting the ball stolen just to deflate some of the fun the Alpha male Marine will have in yelling at the teammate.
The Alpha Male Car salesman isn’t so bad to be on the same team with. He’s better than Alpha male Marine, and typically doesn’t yell at his team. This is nice because every once in a while I will miss a shot or get a ball stolen. This way, I don’t have to yell at myself. I can just play. But the problem with Alpha male Car salesman is that he freaks out when someone on the opposing team disagrees with him on a foul or a call he made. I mean freaks out. I’m quite certain it’s a case of ‘roid rage, but nonetheless, it’s disturbing.
So this morning, I’m on Alpha male Car salesman’s team, and we’re winning, and Alpha male Marine is yelling at his teammates, and I’m just smiling because that’s not me. But then Alpha male Car salesman drives to the basket in between two opposing players and the ball goes out of bounds. Alpha male Car salesman proclaims it our ball because the ball hit one of those opposing players. Alpha male Marine vehemently disagrees with this call, and all hell breaks loose.
They start yelling at each other and screaming and no one cares. Everyone else just wants to play basketball, not take the sides of the two high school wannabee warriors.
“Come on” a lot of guys scream back at them. “We have to be at work soon!”
But it was to no avail. Alpha male Marine and Alpha male Car salesman continued their words of fury for the next several minutes, helping  me to  finally realize…

Just exactly why middle aged white guys are always the serial killers.

Related posts:

1. Angry Marty
2. A “Fight” to the finish?
3. I am he.