Carie vs. the Jerk
Carie vs.
the Jerk
In order to understand this post, you really have to understand a bit about my wife.
Carie is exactly who she says she is. She is the same person with me as she is with people as she is by herself. There is no difference. She is not pushy, but to people she has relationship with she will push them to be better people. She hates the limelight, but when placed in the center of it, appears like she was born to be in it. She does not talk bad about people, unless they are in the room and need to be “encouraged”. She’s not even a big talker, but people who talk to her enjoy it way more than talking to me. She didn’t go to Bible college wanting to marry a pastor, and the fact that I was one actually gave her cause to consider all the more whether or not she should say yes to me.
All that being said, when she came home yesterday, she was a bit discouraged. There’s this guy that she’s worked with now for 3 years at her school. He’s admittedly kind of a jerk (he has said this comparing himself to Carie) and cares very little for issues of faith, though Carie and Jerk teacher have shared conversations about faith before. He actually majored in theology in college.
So last week jerk teacher was having a bit of a rough week, and Carie came home and asked me if she should invite him to church. I asked, “How do you think he will react?” She said, “I have no clue.” I said, “As long as you do it on your own time, it’s probably fine. Go for it!”
So on Friday, she sent jerk teacher an email inviting him to our service that weekend, and asking him to respond. Now keep in mind this is not two people who have just met. They have worked together for 3 years, and though it’s been rocky at times because of the whole “jerk” thing, Carie has been one of the few people to treat him well. There is a good bit of gossip that goes on between the teachers in the particular department carie works in, and she has not participated in the fray.
Jerk teacher never responded, which was not a big deal, until Monday. On Monday 3 times carie walks into the department room and 3 times she catches Jerk teacher talking about her invitation to other people, and 3 times as she enters, the conversation stops immediately. I asked her if she thought because of the first time, she might have been paranoid about 1 or 2 of them (for those of you who are not married or have just been married for a short time, this is not a great question to ask at this point), and she said “no”. One time she came in and the last thing she heard was, “All they want to do is divide and conquer”.
Clearly Carie was upset by the happenings here. All she did was invite someone who she had relationship with to church, and evidently he scorned her for it.
I believe she handled it quite well, eventually telling me that Jerk teacher was probably just acting out in pain, and that talking about people was his way of dealing with it. But the point of this post is not her feelings, but mine. (hopefully this will save me from a backlash after she reads this) You see, in an effort to try to be authentic, I’m going to share my feelings on this subject now.
Carie handled her situation wisely and is planning on talking to Jerk teacher, and as a follower of Christ, I know that’s the right thing for her to do. And she’ll be successful how she handles it, because that’s who she is. If it were me, I probably would have handled it the same way. As Carie’s husband though…
I just want to punch Jerk teacher in the face.
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Marty, I think it is good and natural that you want to protect your wife from bad things/people. Just don’t go punching Jerk teacher…I’ve got people for that!
I appreciate your transparency. This guy has issues with Jesus and is taking it out on your dear wife.
Matthew 10:22a . . .
As Christians we should be excited that she was able for Christs name sake! Go Carie!
Able to suffer!!
again playing Devil’s advocate (though not as well as Keaneau), I don’t find anything wrong, apart from the obvious hurt feelings. The truth is that the man is not a follower of Christ, and therefore talking bad behind someone’s back is totally OK – to him. Of course most people think it’s wrong, but there’s certainly no law against it. But I’m sure if Carie explains that it hurt her, even Mr. Jerk (who I’m not convinced he’s truly a jerk quite yet) should be quick to apologise, and it will even open up an opportunity to further share her views.
On a side note, I do agree that many Christians and Christian Churches only think about “dividing and conquering”. I charge anyone who reads this blog to start creating the opposite in your world. Don’t invite someone to church because “they need Jesus”, do it because you’re genuinely interested in them and care for them. Try inviting them to your home, or out for a few beers first, then try a Foyer Experience at The Fellowship Church.
I’m very proud of Carie and the seed this man sows he will reap, just keep being as you always are Carie, sweet caring and wonderful pouring hot coals on his head not cuz you want to do that either but because you truly do care and know the benefits of turning the other cheek! I love you girl! Now me on the other hand tell me who jerk teacher is and I will give him a piece of my mind! LOL!
You know, there are very few things that Carrie could have done that would have had the same reaction: causing this guy to be so freaked out that he found it necessary to gossip about it later.
That it would have such a powerful effect on him, there’s ways in which that’s a good thing.
Having said that, I totally get your reaction. It’s interesting how much we’re willing to suffer ourselves but how hard it is to watch our loved ones suffer. I suspect that if you’d invited somebody at your basketball games to church and they did the same way you’d be less upset about it. I guess it’s a human nature thing.
Let me know when we’re heading to his house to take care of this. J/k! I understand all the points of view here, and agree with each one. I was going to leave a note the other day when you originally posted this, but got side tracked. It’s funny that each comment echoed some of my own thoughts.
While it is correct that we should rejoice when we suffer for being a follower of Jesus, I can’t say I do it joyfully. Especially when it comes to my wife or family.
I am totally w/ Marty on this! My skin (flesh?) would be crawling each time I saw this guy, and I would be asking God to restrain me, because my leaning is to want to mame or destroy anyone that would try to hurt Erica. It’s natural, but remember we are more than natural now!