Hooking up
Recently I have been focusing most of my posts on relationships. This is where I believe the most significant amount of change, both spiritual and otherwise, takes place. And specifically In the relationships into which I pour myself. Any relationship I have, I have as a result of the time and energy I’ve put into that relationship. I would never blame other people for my inability to have a relationship with them. I might blame differences in personality (which includes mine) or I might blame life’s circumstances (which also includes mine), but I would never blame someone else for not putting their time into my life. It’s their time. They can use it as they please. It certainly is not anyone’s fault because they are busy or even because they didn’t want to respond.
I think sometimes we get misguided when we’re younger (let’s say 30 and under) because we see how our “infatuations” quickly turn into relationships and then incorrectly believe in some way that all of our relationships will be close and effortless.
But a relationship is hard work, especially if you are not particularly outgoing. No. Change that. Even if you’re outgoing, because you have to put the effort in, and when you get shut down (which you very well may at first, and again, and again), then you have to keep trying – if you really want a relationship with that person. “A man who has friends must himself be friendly” -Proverbs 18:24
I came to Massachusetts as a 23 year old who had a lot of friends in a lot of different places, and I quickly realized this 1 thing. If I was going to have friends here in New England, it was going to be on me. I was going to have to call or show up or send that email. I also spent a lot of nights alone as a single, 20 something pastor who was told by more than one person on a given weekend night that they were busy. But I kept calling and kept writing and kept showing up – response or no response.
This is what a person does if a person wants to have a relationship with someone.
They relate. And they don’t stop relating.
Related posts:
Such truth here… I know that I personally tend to give up when I’ve made countless attempts and get no response. It really is “work” sometimes. I know you’ve been trying with David and I encourage you to keep at it. I’m praying for him and for God to just fill his life with believers who can express love for him. Thank you so much for your time and effort to date; it does mean a lot to him, and also to me. You are a blessing!
saw you mentioned on the catalyst blog.. you’ll be speaking there in a couple yrs if you keep this up.. haha
Hi Marty,
I’m a youth pastor in Newport, RI. I saw you on the Catalyst blog.
Looks like the New England Remnant exists! I’d love to connect with you.
Swing by my blog czarthoughts.wordpress.com Let’s link